Is caring about your beauty superficial?

Is caring about your beauty superficial? and what can you do when you just feel “ugly?”


You know what I mean. Some days you just feel off your game, bad hair days, clothes don’t fit. It’s hard to pin an exact reason but you just feel plain ugly!


I have one question: How can you be a positive force for change and touch lives if you’re all caught up in feeling “ugly” and not able to walk upright and confident?

I know when I have felt this way and expressed it out loud I have been told everything from “It’s the inner that matters, it doesn’t matter how you are on the outside.” to “you are not ugly, that is silly!” or, “You are not ugly, you are beautiful!” The latter being the nicer thing. Each statement has one thing in common.



They all gloss over your very real “ugly” & “fugly” feelings, not being at the top of your game. It is intended kindness in most cases, and among many different sects of spirituality it really is seen as being “superficial” to be concerned about such things and even looked down on for caring. It’s the inner part of you that matters, right?



Let’s look at what “superficial” means at it’s core. Let’s no longer demonize it!


Superficial= on the surface. It’s only part of the equation. When you draw on both the inner and the outer it’s powerful to use that surface to magnify the beauty that is from down deep.

Is surface not important? Reclaim “superficial” and use it as a tool to to powerfully project your inner spirit and inner love.
I am not saying to put pressure on yourself and to be your own worst critic, I am just wanting to give you a few options for when you are feeling ugly.

Before I even launch into my ideas, I want to affirm that YOU and a beautiful soul down to the core. No two people possess the exact same beauty. We are all a unique blend. It takes practice to align the inner and outer in such a powerfully congruent way.


5 ways to reclaim your beauty



1. Beauty and the bath.

Nurture (overused word= deeply care for and tend to yourself) Think about the highest potential expression of your inner love and beauty and treat that spark of divinity as such. Cleanliness next to Godliness, tend to your physical vehicle. Annoint those feet, and the rest of you as well! Nice fragrances that put you in an elevated state of mind. Elevate senses= show up for the world (yourself and others) in a divine and holy way.




Circulate chi/energy through your body. Blood moves oxygen (chi) through your entire body . Exercise motivation to be healthy so your body will not only feel better, it reflects out into the world through how you FEEL, and if we’re honest, we feel much better when we’re on point with the way we look. Do everything you can to be the very best you that exists and just strive, do your best and move your body.
It’s not all about the “six pack” and the hourglass shape, it’s your projection (how you EXPRESS yourself in the world) So, it’s about intention.
Dancing freeform is one of the best ways to move because you are expressing and moving at the same time. If you are to be able to dance, you must be able to let go of your inhibitions a bit and that’s when your inner spirit peeks out to touch other lives.



3. Wear the damn jeans!

Accept your size and shape. Yes, there are stretch jeans that are really comfy. if jeans aren’t your thing, find something else that you are really wanting to wear after you feel better about yourself. AFTER losing weight, getting over that depression, getting past distractions and busy times, etc…



4. Come out of hiding (to yourself)…


buy a bra that fits. No hiding the “girls”… and wear clothes that accentuate your shape rather than hiding behind a tent. Honestly, I know this is a toughie, and deep-rooted. I still grapple with it, but as awareness grows I begin to dress for my body and as a result I feel more beautiful and powerful.





Crystals can stabilize your energy, ground you and raise your vibration. Crystals can support beauty as well as aid in wight release. See this article for more information about weight release and This one for connecting with crystals to help you love yourself and feel beautiful! I urge you to read the detailed articles if you have an interest. I explain HOW crystals work in a scientific and also a practical way.


6. look at yourself in the mirror.

Even gaze at yourself, each day. Get used to the realities of your appearance. I have this one line on my face that I keep noticing and would find myself resisting. While taking care of my skin is an important thing, I realized that I was slathering on lotions to that one line (and the smaller lines around it) JUST to hide it. The intention behind my skin care practices weren’t in revering my body as a temple of sacred divinity, it was in hiding “imperfections” This doesn’t fly, and as a result of this mindset, I was feeling really ugly because of that damn line.


OK, I have this line on my face, and it is a part of my face. I am getting older and short of surgery I am likely to always have this line. So when I care for my skin I am going to shift my thinking and not “plump out” the wrinkles and “fill” the lines. I have the line, no stopping time. I look at it and accept that it is there.
I also have this body that doesn’t always look like an “after” picture. I love it though and if I am going to make any changes there, I HAVE to start at point A, and that is in knowing where I am at in my journey. Have I been lost? The only way to get un-lost is to figure out where I asm and I can do it by looking at myself honestly. (This goes for attitudes and thought patterns as well)


6. Connect…



With friends, with family. Seek that depth of connection. It starts with connecting with yourself. You can then, in a sense, sit back and allow the connections to come out of the woodwork. You may be surprised, just be observant. Each day keep a connection journal and take note of every instance where you felt “heard” and acknowledged. It can either be through hearing a song that speaks back to you, someone reaching out to you (even a stranger) It may not come from where you might expect. keep an open mind.



Habitual self talk can be destructive and keep you frozen where you are.

Seek connection with a healing coach or mentor.

Be open for the *right* one to come along.

There are a great many coaches out there, some will be a fit and others will not resonate with you.

If you’re wanting to make a lasting change, support is your friend and having an accountability partner and guide is invaluable for lasting change. 


Kelly is a Certified Nutrition & Wellness Coach, Holistic Wellness Practitioner and Certified Crystal Healer.

She is here to help you feel comfortable in your body and BE-you-tiful through body positive outlook and making permanent changes in your health, weight and life!

Yes, it's possible to be body positive and also release the weight, depression, anxiety and unhealthy habits to feel confident, healthy and fabulous!

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